nut hugger
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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