What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
