i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
