So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
