Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
