so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
