we have pet lesbian snakes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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