im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
