Nicole vs. Life
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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