K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
