I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
