i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
