I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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