i permit you to call me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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