DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I didn't notice because vodka
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
