is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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