bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
