Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize