so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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