Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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