"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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