He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
