my mouth tastes like poor choices
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize