today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sobbing to NWA
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
