I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
