it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
porn star boner night. come get it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize