Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
