you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
