Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
