Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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