I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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