my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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