Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize