apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
