We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
