On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
