So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
