you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize