the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
