we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
