I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
