we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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