i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
