I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
false alarm. still invincible.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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