Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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