I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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