my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just pee around me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
