she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
