didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
