She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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