She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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