some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize