I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
