just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
