i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize