walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
