The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
