Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
