There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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