what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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