Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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