carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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