You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize