I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
