Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
