Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
