My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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